frequently asked questions
What ages do you teach?
Students generally begin our program as a two or three year old person. A wide range of ages is highly encouraged in our program, providing opportunities that speak to the needs and skills of a broad spectrum allows children to learn and grow at their own pace, regardless of chronological age or ability. Plus, it’s wonderful for the younger children to have support from older peers, while older children have the pride of experiencing what it means to be a leader in our community.
I see that your schedule runs four days a week. Is it possible to do a shorter week?
Our program enrolls each student comes Monday- Thursday. It feels important to me for the consistency of our small class that we see the same faces each day. Certainly there will be some days out for family trips, illness and special events but on the whole, I love how connected this allows our group to be.
Does my child need to be potty trained before they start?
Definitely not! As with most any aspect of our program, each child has their own unique blueprint for growth. It’s expected that we’ll have a range of toilet readiness and interest from not at all (in diapers, not yet interested in the toilet) to self-sufficient (in underwear, fully competent at sensing needs and usually quite able to get there in time!). Children are welcome to try the potty, if they’re interested, but it’s a very positive, fun and low-pressure approach. They each have their own window for learning toileting skills. Together with families, we can watch for signs of readiness to best meet them in that place when they’re ready. We do stand up diapering, which means even our youngest children are encouraged to work on manipulating their own clothing and to gain a growing awareness of their body’s needs.
Ugh, my friend’s child was bitten by another kid during a play date. It sounded so upsetting, have you had to deal with that kind of behavior?
Ah, toddlers and physical communication! First and foremost, know that each child’s safety is of the utmost concern to me. And, at the same time, no matter how careful we are, some physical expression is a very normal part of this age. Here’s why: a very young child may have limited verbal skills. Imagine having your most favorite possession in the world, say a new red ball, yanked away by another kid. Instead of starting with a polite “Excuse me, I’d really appreciate it if you’d return that to me forthwith! Perhaps a kind of time share can be arranged…” What’s immediately available? A quick push is instantly available, direct and will probably get the job done. Yet physical messages use all the things that we as adults can have really strong reactions to: pushing, hitting and one of our least favorites, biting. It can be hard to see this as the communication piece that it is: I want my ball back, You’re crowding me, that scream was too loud for my ears, I’m not feeling well, my body could use a nap, this playground is overwhelming… the good news is that as children become more practiced and confident with their words, physical communication decreases. In the meantime, adults can support each child to access the more powerful (and socially appropriate) verbal communication. It’s important to approach this in a clear, direct and shame free manner. We use really simple pieces at first, paying attention to those No’s! and mine’s!, using a simple hand signal to say “stop” or “be gentle” to a friend. When something physical does happen, our first focus is on tending to the receiving child: helping them up, being held to calm, recognizing the hurt or upset feelings. Next, the other child is encouraged to notice that their friend is upset (That hurt, I see tears. ). The receiving child is supported to give the child a message (Be gentle with my body) and, if they’re comfortable with it, to ask for something soothing from the first child (a hug maybe, a tissue for their face, some additional physical space if need be). Finally, we look at what the first child wanted to communicate and make sure that message is heard and recieved. Hmm, so John really wants the red ball back when you’re done. Let’s make sure he gets a turn in two minutes. Physical communication can be a big issue. If your little one is on either side of this dynamic, know that we’ll be in communication about the experience, with everyone’s safety in mind.
I feel like my child needs more activity than I can provide, but is she really ready? Outside of family, this would be the first time I’ve ever left her. I’m worried that she’s going to be so upset when I leave…
I hear you! Very often my class is a child’s first school experience, and that’s a big deal for them and for their family. Even when you’re feeling confident in a program, tears are hard to deal with. Sadness at departure can also be a really normal and healthy thing, every child will at some point go through a period with some sad goodbyes. And just as each of them are different, the timing on that period is different too. Some little ones might be sad on the first few days while others begin school without so much as a glance back in your direction. After a kind of honeymoon, say a few weeks or even months, suddenly out the seeming blue, they’re glued to your side at the time of goodbye.
It’s really helpful to create a goobye routine for both you and your child. You and your child will be visiting Tigerlily several times before the first day and we can put our heads together to design something just right for you both- depending on your child’s interest, it might mean looking at two books and then a big big hug, followed by a deep breath (you!) and a confident “I know you will have a great day. I will be right back after lunch!” and your departure. As a parent I know how tremendously difficult it is to step away during a sad goodbye. Know that I’ll be by your child’s side to support their process. We ackwoldege the feelings (You wish mama could stay all day, it’s hard to say goodbye. You’re feeling sad and missing her. She’s missing you too…) and help them transition into our day. (Shall we wipe some tears? Oh, Sarah is bringing us the baby doll. I wonder if the baby need some breakfast…). Almost always the child is able to move into a good space to enjoy his or her time. If I was not able to calm and comfort your little one, we’d be in touch within the half hour. But almost always, we move through the sadness and into a really positive day.
Okay, that was beautiful. Can I have a tissue?
Of course!
And maybe some of those cheerios?
Absolutely. Somehow I always seem to have plenty of both on hand…